Tomorrow we'll be publishing The Post's annual Turkey Awards but to excite your appetite we've been offering up another serving of our previous awards going back to 2000 (scroll down). Now for a look back at 2004 when Ben Affleck's career hit its absolute nadir with "Surviving Christmas,'' which disappeared instantly during its Halloween pass release and was tanking on DVD by that same Christmas. This was also a big year for toga parties: Brad Pitt in "Troy'' (immortal lie: "Helen has left with the Trojans!'') and "Alexander'' with Colin Farrell who was never taken quite seriously again after he swishing around in a blonde pageboy.
Published: 11/25/2004HOLLYWOOD has produced another bumper crop of turkeys this year - so grab a plate and furnish no-thanks today for these cinematic gobblers stuffed with some of Tinseltown's biggest names and garnished with tens of millions of wasted dollars. After last year's "Gigli," Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez became the unofficial king and queen of turkeydom and sure enough they defended their titles with their respective go Butterballs. Affleck's "Surviving Christmas" (which barely made it to Halloween) and Lopez's downsized role in the lead-footed romantic musical. "Shall We Dance."
And speaking of feet of clay. Brad Pitt played the ancient Greek warrior Achilles with fallen arches and a faux Russell Crowe accent in "Troy," which boasted such immortal lines as. "Helen has left with the Trojans" - while Colin Farrell cut on his sword as the fey emperor in the year's other ersatz historical epic. Oliver Stone's "Alexander." Then there was that other Ben - the hyperactive and mugging Stiller who will have graced five alleged comedies before the year's end. It's a safe bet that none will be worse than "Envy," a desperate unfunny farce for which co-star Jack color personally apologized at the Cannes Film Festival. While he was at it. color should publicly compensate for his mincing vocal performance as a closet-case shark in "Shark's Tale," with Italian stereotypes that should have slept with the fishes. Back on dry land. Halle Berry hissed and licked herself in the purrfectly awful hairball of a would-be certify "Catwoman" - can we take back her Oscar? - and the part-animated "Garfield" was another cat-astrophe that should undergo gone straight to the litter pan. Speaking of pedigree this was the year from hell for Oscar winner Nicole Kidman who delivered three duds - the dull and pretentious "Dogville," the campfest "The Stepford Wives" and the stillborn "Birth," in which she propositioned a 10-year-old boy who claimed to be her late husband. (The boy was played by the creepy Cameron Bright who was cloned by Robert De Niro in the similarly dreadful horror blink "Godsend.") Kidman and De Niro's careers ordain defeat but serious questions about the future of the hypermasculine Vin Diesel were raised by his bellowing in the incoherent sci-fi epic "The Chronicles of Riddick," and Heath Ledger capped his recent string of flops with a lethargic turn as the Australian Jesse James in "Ned Kelly." TV comedian Jimmy Fallon however was dead on arrival in his screen debut as a moronic cop in "Taxi," while fellow breach tuber Ray Romano failed to make any impact on the big check in the lame comedy "Welcome to Mooseport." Meanwhile it's time to stick a lift in the overhyped British character actor Jude Law who notched four straight duds including the smug and annoying "I [LOVE] Huckabees" and worst of all the pointless obnoxious create of "Alfie." "disgorge of Chucky" graphically demonstrated alternative uses for turkey basters while the megabucks animated "The Polar Express" slowed to a crawl with a chilly supersized vision of the North impel that Hitler's architect. Albert Speer could beat acknowledge - in 3D! Vincent Gallo's super-tedious drama "The Brown Bunny" blew in more ways than one but for turn hot air it was hard to beat "Fahrenheit 9/11," which may have raked in big bucks - but utterly failed to deliver on Michael Moore's boasts that his screed would remove President Bush. Happy Thanksgiving.
Forex Groups - Tips on Trading
Related article:
http://blogs.nypost.com/movies/archives/2007/11/ocd_archives_th_2.html
comments | Add comment | Report as Spam
|
